The Fourth Sunday of Lent
by CarlaPeterLove
Summary: There were a lot of days that Carla Connor absolutely couldn't stand but this one was very close to the top of the list...
Now, there were many "special" days that Carla Connor absolutely couldn't stand but the fourth Sunday of lent was very a day that was very close to the top of the list.

Mother's Day.

Other than the anniversaries of countless tragic moments that Carla endured in her life, Mothers Day was definitely a day that she just didn't want to celebrate.

She wished that when she went shopping she wouldn't see endless reminders about Mother's Day and she wished that when she watched TV she wouldn't have to sit through all the never ending adverts about it too.

She wished that on the Saturday night before Mother's day, that she could sleep right through until Monday so that she didn't have to acknowledge the day at all.

Alas… Carla awoke at seven thirty am on Sunday the fifth of March and she knew that she would have to suck it up and face the horrendous day ahead.

It wasn't so bad at the beginning, she didn't' really have to think about Mother's day at first because had Nick and Nick made her feel loved, wanted, safe… all the things that her mother had never ever done but then Nick went out.

Nick went to his Mother's house and even though Carla quite liked her soon to be Mother in law and even though she was invited, she still chose to stay home.

There was no way she wanted to spend the day being surrounded by a family who amongst all the madness that they had entailed, was full of unconditional love.

She didn't want to see Gail receive cards from her kids or see her sniff the humongous bunches of flowers that she had been bought.

Carla didn't want one of the expensive chocolates that Gail was bound to open and she didn't want to hear stories of hilarious mother's day gifts that Gail had received in the past because Carla had never had a successful Mother's day in her life.

The ones she had spent as a kid were utterly miserable.

Carla and Rob would spend hours making something for their Mum, they'd think about it for ages and they'd put their heart and soul into it only to have it completely mocked right in front of them.

They didn't have money to buy their Mum a card either, so those were homemade too and even at a young age Carla was sure that the cards that she and Rob had made would be in the bin by the next day.

The Mother's days that Carla spent as a teenager didn't get much better.

She had money to buy gifts from working her Saturday job but they weren't much better received than the ones she and Rob had had always felt like a complete disappointment in her Mother's eyes and no matter how hard she tried, it seemed like she would never be able to change that.

Mother's Day as an adult just got worse.

With no kids of her own and an estranged Mother, Carla just spent them at whatever Mother in law she had at the time's house.

The Mother's day after her Mother passed was particularly difficult and Carla spent it feeling extremely guilty for the way things had been left between them. She felt as if she should have tried harder to reconnect with her Mum and knowing that she would never have that chance made Carla feel even more like a failure.

The Mother's Day that followed that one was a very awkward one because by this point Carla suddenly had a child in her life and that child went by the name Simon Barlow.

He hated her from the start so Carla was definitely not holding her breath for any sort of acknowledgement from him and even on the next Mother's Day, the one where she was more like a Step Mum to him, She still didn't get anything. She also insisted that Peter didn't make Simon give her anything… After all she always said it didn't mean anything if it was forced.

Then came the scariest Mother's Day.

The one where Carla was pregnant and the one where she spent the day petrified of what was to come. It was also the one that for the first time she actually en visioned her self being a Mother. The one where she decided that the little life inside her meant everything and that she was going to keep it and love it forever.

This Mother's Day was the one where Carla actually believed that the next one wouldn't be so bad. It was spent at her in laws place where the now late Deirdre was showered with gifts and Carla actually sat and thought that one day… Maybe that would be her.

The next Mother's Day was the very worst of them all.

Carla could never have imagined that she could feel worse on that fateful Sunday in March but she did.

It was a day that she spent curled up in bed alone and in tears thinking about what could have been. She had tragically lost her and Peter's little girl months and months ago by that point but the pain that she felt as she thought about how she was supposed to have had a baby with her that year, was the same, excruciating pain that she had felt that impossible day in June.

Last years Mother's Day wasn't pleasant at all but that was also due to the fact that Carla had recently been in a bus crash and still had lingering injuries to add to the pain of being Motherless and childless. She told herself that she would probably never spend Mother's Day the way most other people did and she had actually started to make her peace with that fact too.

So... back to this Mother's Day, the one where her fiancé was sat round his Mum's and where she was at home.

The one which Carla had imagined to be just like all the others… Well it suddenly became the best Mother's Day she had ever had and it was all to do with a knock on her front door.

It came at about one pm, Carla had been on the sofa watching telly at the time, she assumed that who ever it was must have been someone from the building because they hadn't rung the buzzer and as she opened it she hoped it might be Nick surprising her… But it wasn't.

It was no one.

Carla frowned and thought that someone was just messing about but then she glanced down and saw the white envelope that had been left on the floor outside her door.

She picked it up gingerly and saw that her name had been written on the front.

Her name and nothing else.

She took one more look to see if anyone was there before going back inside.

She took the envelope back over to her sofa and pondered for a moment.

She couldn't understand who on earth could have left it and as she opened it she took a deep, very long breath.

It was a card.

Simple and white, with gold lettering that said

 _"Happy Mother's Day."_

But who would send Carla a Mother's Day card?

She trembled as she ran a finger over the smooth letters and then, with no hesitation she pulled the card open.

Inside was a message… And a rather long one at that.

It was written in a black pen and even though it had been ages… She recognised that penman ship anywhere.

 _"Dear Carla…_

 _Happy Mother's Day._

 _Erm... where do I begin?_

 _This is really hard to admit but I'm actually seeing councillor at the moment because… well because I've been acting out a lot._

 _Anyway the councillor asked me what it would take to make me happy the other day and the first thought I had was me Dad._

 _Then when I really went over things, it's not just my Dad… it's you… it's the three of us._

 _It's everything we had back in like… 2013. I know that I didn't show it at the time but I was actually really happy back then. I might have still been a right pain in the bum but I had actually made my peace with the fact that Dad left Mum and I was also pretty okay with the fact that I had two homes and two families._

 _Anyway I know you probably think that I have a right cheek sending you this… especially after the fact that I never actually bothered before but when I was getting a card for me Mum, I suddenly realised that I'd never given you one and given how hard you used to try to get me to like you, that was really mean of me wasn't it?_

 _I also just wanted you to know that even though you and me Dad aren't together… I still think of you as me Step Mum and I know that one day there's going to be a few really lucky kids that are so proud to call you their Mum for real._

 _Love Simon x_

 _P.S I would have given this card to your face but I'm not very good at showing my emotions. I'm worried I'll get so embarrassed and mess it all up so I hope it's okay that I left it outside your place. Maybe we can meet at Roy's for a coffee later… Only if you want. Let me know_

Tears ran down Carla's cheeks as she re-read the card, three times in fact, just to make sure that she wasn't imagining it.

She couldn't believe that after all this time, Simon had made such a loving effort and after she proudly propped the card on the coffee table, she picked up her phone so that she could send a very important message.

 _"Thank you so much for that gorgeous card Simon. You ave no idea how touched I am… a coffee would be great right now, What time? x"_


End file.
